Guest Blog, Information for Patients

Caregiving for a Wife with Cancer, by Cameron Von St. James


The day my wife was diagnosed with malignant pleural mesothelioma is one that I will never forget. Just three months earlier in August of 2005, we had celebrated the birth of our first daughter, a little angel we named Lily. Unfortunately, just before Thanksgiving that year we received the news that my wife had a rare and extremely deadly form of cancer.

All of a sudden, I was the caregiver for a person with cancer. My role started before we even left the doctor’s office with the diagnosis. The doctor gave us three options for Heather’s treatment. We could seek treatment at the local hospital, head to a regional hospital or go to a hospital in Boston with one of the leading mesothelioma specialists in the world. My wife looked at me with a pleading look to save her in her eyes, and I instantly said we have to get to that specialist in Boston.

The next few months soon overwhelmed me. I could now only work my formerly full-time job part-time, but I was busier than I had ever been before. In addition to taking care of Heather, I had to take care of our baby girl as well.

There were times that this role as the caregiver and rock of the family completely overwhelmed me. I would suddenly find myself feeling broken down, overwhelmed and helpless. However, I always managed to pull myself together, and I never let Heather see me when I hit rock bottom. I knew I needed to be strong when I was with her so that she could lean on me for support during her difficult battle with cancer.

It was amazing to see how many of our family and friends reached out to us while Heather was getting treated for mesothelioma. People gave us time, money and kind words, and all of this help gave us the strength to keep fighting on. Anyone that faces a similar situation should take advantage of any help that people around them are willing to give, and don’t be afraid to ask for it. This job is hard enough as it is; you shouldn’t have to go through it alone.

Being a caregiver for a cancer patient is something that is incredibly challenging. There are a lot of dark moments and chaos where you don’t know if you will ever see the light at the end of the tunnel. The most important thing is to never, ever give up hope. Always keep fighting for a better tomorrow.

After radiation treatments, chemotherapy and surgery, Heather is now completely free from cancer. It has been over seven years since her terrifying diagnosis, and she remains healthy and happy to this day. Now, we hope that by sharing some of our experiences, we can help inspire other currently going through their own battle with cancer today.

Read more from Cameron Von St James’ blog here

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About kjmonahan

Service lead for Family History of Bowel Cancer Clinic

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